Men and Women Friends 6 June 1988

Trevor Leggett was head of the Japanese Department of the BBC.

This is one of his broadcasts to Japan

Zubari for 6 June 1988

Hello listeners. Recently in the British newspapers there have been discussions about friendship. Are women better friends, or are men?

In past history, the attitudes of men have been recorded often: for instance, we know that Disraeli, the brilliant Prime Minister in Victorian Britain, preferred the company of women to that of men.

He had great personal charm; he charmed Queen Victoria as he charmed many other women.  And he was charmed by them. His great rival, Gladstone, a wonderful intellect and social reformer, had little charm, and he preferred the company of men. But he tended to lecture everyone, so his friendships were generally not on an equal basis. Queen Victoria did not like him.

But the views of women, about friendships, have not been so well recorded. So, recently, some famous women writers have been asked for their opinions, about men and women. Some of the opinions were surprising.

For instance, Barbara Cartland, an 80-year-old woman writer of trashy romantic novels which sell millions of copies, mostly to women readers, said: “I only like being with men. I don’t like women very much. I’ve got one or two special women friends, but on the whole I prefer men in every way. Women are treacherous friends.”

But another woman novelist, younger, says the reverse: ‘Women are very good friends to each other. On the whole, it is quite difficult to find such good friends among men.’

Lady Falkender, a political columnist said: “I like talking to women, because I like gossip about people. But men’s conversation is more interesting. When women are alone together, they always end up by talking trivialities about house and family.”

Some other women writers said, very sensibly, that it is not possible to generalise.

© Trevor Leggett