Parent-Child 10 April 1988

Trevor Leggett was head of the Japanese Department of the BBC.

This is one of his broadcasts to Japan

Zubari for 10 April 1988

Hello listeners!

Do you find that once you have a strong idea of a person, it is very difficult to change it? We all know that to many parents, their children are always small children, even when they have grown up, and perhaps become famous.

When I was 50, I lived with my old mother. She sometimes went away for a week to stay with one of my brothers in the country. Before leaving, she arranged the house very carefully with all the food I might want. She seemed to have the idea that I might not be able to go out and buy anything.  She was very old, and to her I was still a child.

When she was saying good-bye for a week, and getting into my brother’s car, she generally said to me: “Are you sure that you will be all right by yourself, without me?” I used to see my brother giving a little smile, as she said this.

Once I said to her: “I have lived for 14 years in distant countries like Japan and India – and in Europe, Africa, Egypt – all by myself. Why do you think I cannot stay live by myself for one week in this peaceful house in a peaceful street in London?”

She looked at me with surprise, and then thought for a moment. Finally, she said sadly: “I know I am being a fool. But I can’t help it. I suppose it is because I am so glad that you are back from all those places abroad!”

So, I kissed her, and then my brother kissed her and said, “And Trevor will be glad to have you back, after a week.” Then they left, smiling.

After that, I did not mind much being treated like a little boy. I even fell into the role a few times. Once there was a little accident and some coffee spilled; my mother said: “That’s your fault – you moved too quickly.” I found myself saying, just as if I had been six years old: “Oh, I’m sorry, Mummy. I’ll never do it again.”

When I first visited Japan, I saw some Japanese business men saying this sort of apology to their aged mothers. I didn’t understand it then, but I do now.

© Trevor Leggett